Hurricane Matt

Things my 3 year old has done that I just couldn't believe:

Thrown the new cordless phone in the toilet
Poured out my fingernail polish remover down the sink (better there than on the carpet)
Put coins in the car CD player
Put numerous toys in the Diaper Genie
Taken the air vents off and poured his drink down them
Thrown a whole box of Q-Tips in the potty
Ripped off wallpaper in dining room at Aunt Sue's
Painted the toilet seat lid with my mascara brush
Threw away my $200 to replace car key (on a sweltering day in August - yes, I found it outside in the garbage - my husband made me)
Called 2 of my friends and left messages on their machines
Put the pepper shaker in his mouth (yes, he got a mouthfull)
Taken the stuffing out of couch cushions and tossed it all over the room
Brushed his teeth with water he got from dipping toothbrush in toilet

Said "hello? hello?" into the toilet brush and when I went to get it from him, he ran across the lawn toward the street and he stopped on the sidewalk and said "lollypop" and ...yes... he licked it.