Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My friend: Erasmus B. Dragon

Working Mothers Support Group - where are you?!?!

I am a hamster running on a wheel. I get up at 5:30 - teach high schoolers all day - leave at 3:30 or 4 and try to get by the store and run errands, [but sometimes I have to wait until the kids are asleep and go out later] get home to play with the boys, make dinner, eat, clean up, get them bathed and to bed and then it is 9pm and time to go to bed. Or not - stay up and .....I am too brain dead to do anything other than drown in a crossword puzzle or play computer Mah jong. Or drink.

My days are like refereeing a long soccer match and then afterwards, re-suiting up and playing in a football game, getting tackled, breaking up unruly players.

And I have gained 50 pounds I seriously need to lose. I am so not a morning person - I cannot envision myself going to the gym at 4:30 am. I'd have to leave work asap and then get home later than I am supposed to (we get 9 hours day care a day) and I'd not be able to "finish" all the work I need to do.

I think about my weight all the time. It has become an obsession. But what am I doing about it? Nothing. I did stop eating breakfast sandwiches (One has more fat than I need in in a weekly diet!) but haven't been able to kick coffee (which I drink for the sugar) and replace with unhealthy but zero calories Diet Coke and I still crave sweets. And give in to the feeling. I am a glutton. I always said to myself, "Well 140 is high, but I will never be 150 - at that point I would really get busy working out. " Then it became 160, 170 and nor I am like "Well if I see 180 on there I will SO freak out and that will be it." What is wrong with me? This must have a name in psychologists circles. Is it just called "crazy"?

Life of a working mom- it is a greuling exsistance. Working Mothers Support Group - where are you? Not that I'd have time to go to a meeting.......unless there was lots to drink.....

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